The Majestic Magical Marvelous Magnificent Maroon Mysterious Motorized Mechanical Mustache Making Machine Made in Maine

      Hello, my name is Billy and today I will be taking you on a trip to show you what happens inside of the Majestic Magical Marvelous Magnificent Maroon Mysterious Motorized Mechanical Mustache Making Machine Made in Maine. First off, at the front of the machine is a small chamber where you put a mouse. The chamber is a 3 inch by 3 inch cube with 47 air holes. A treadmill would start under its feet, and have it run for 47 minutes and 38 seconds. This made the mouse sweaty, just enough to dampen its fur.

      Next, the mouse will be pushed into a bigger box with 61 air holes. Then a robotic hand, holding a comb, comes down and combs each hair of the mouse individually. As it combed a hair it would count out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26 etc. Once it combed all of the hairs, a spray bottle would come down and spray the mouse with water, because it dried out from all of the hair combing.

      The third box is 2 inches by 2 cm. The box had 371 air holes. In there, the mouse would get a massage, so it would get less tense. A hand would come down from the top of the box and it would massage each muscle one by one. It would also say the name of the muscle out loud. It would go: Biceps Brachii, Frontalis, Gracilis, Iliacus, Deltoid, Soleus, etc. Once it was done, a hand holding a spray bottle would descend and spray the mouse with water, because it would get dried out from all of the massaging.

      It would then be transferred to a fourth box that is 76 feet by 76 feet. The box would have four air holes, each the size of flies. From the top of the box, a hand would come down and pick up the mouse from its tail. The hand would then gently shake the mouse 12 times to get as many hairs off as possible. If there were still hair on the mouse, a different hand would come down and shave the mouse of the extra hair. Now that they had the mouse hair, they would have no use for the mouse, so they would release it into a zoo enclosure with a crying pumpkin.

      Now, in the final box, The Majestic Magical Marvelous Magnificent Maroon Mysterious Motorized Mechanical Mustache-Making Machine Made In Maine would arrange the hairs so they were all separated by one inch and they were all facing outside. At the other end of the box there was a hole for a man to stick his face in. A long funnel would run from where all of the hairs were and funnel down to the man's upper lip. The Majestic Magical Marvelous Magnificent Maroon Mysterious Motorized Mechanical Mustache-Making Machine Made In Maine would shoot the hairs down the funnel and into the man's upper lip. The man could then leave and the entire process would start again. My name is Billy and thank you for joining me on this adventure. Thank you and goodnight.