The Struggle Is Real

I was seventeen when I first got a job at a Timmy's in California. I only worked there for three days this month, but let me tell you, it was not my métier. The job application looked very thorough, so I thought it was a good idea. I was wrong. Using big words, they deceived people and lured them into applying for the job. They used words like "conviviality " and "excogitate."

 I contemplate, Alex, was it worth it? No freaking way. My mom told me that morning "Get a job! You just sit here all day trying to learn how to play your dragon dungeon game!"
Dungeons and Dragons, Mother.

 I was working minimum wage with only a few tips an hour! I wasted the whole day bawling the word "TIMMY'S!" every time someone walked through the door.

Timmy's is a worse version of the popular restaurant Chipotle. The place loses thousands of dollars every single day. And only the most aggravating customers saunter through the door. And don't forget, the divas.

"I need a half-vegan-half-meat steak burrito with half a cup of pinto beans and lettuce sitting exactly one inch from the beans with gluten-free whole wheat bread. It needs to be warmed to exactly 110°. Also I need some croutons with that and... with seven seconds of it under black light. Also some wild boar farm tomatoes. And the best hot salsa you've got."

"You want the North Pole too?" I joke.

"EXCUSE ME?! Do you know who I am?! I'm Mercedes Pendragon! Ya! Pendragon! I practically own this restaurant! The costumer is always right! Now... hurry up Jeeves."

Albeit she was annoying, I couldn't afford getting fired on my first day. And right in that moment, my co-worker Ali walked up to her.

"O-M-G Mercedes! Hey girrll! I gotcha!" This wasn't Ali's normal voice. She sounded like any annoying valley girl. I thought she had my back, but she looked at her watch and said, "Oh wow! Look's like it's my break! Gotta run!" There goes our camaraderie, flushed down the toilet.

I slapped on the day old pinto beans with a placid face of absolute hatred. Maybe she wasn't this bad, and this is just my cynicism talking... no, she was bad. This was the devil.

After I made her stupid burrito with a plethora of food inside that I could barely wrap up, Nightmare then sashayed her way out of the restaurant while clicking her heels loudly as she jumped into her S-Class Mercedes-Benz Sedan. What? I like cars. Satan-in-human-form also left without paying.

My next costumer was worse. She took time out of my day. I shouldn't have been in that store. She was an extreme-couponer.

"Of course sweetie, I'll get your burritos for you... no I love you... kisses!" The lady then began to kiss her phone for god knows why. And this lady was my friend's mom, Mrs. Spengler. At least she didn't remember me. The restaurant closed in about ten minutes, so this was probably my last costumer.

"Do you work here?" she asked.

"I'm literally right behind the counter..." I confusingly said.

"Good. I just want a 10 plain chicken burritos."

I chuckled. "That's it?" I said sarcastically.

"Yes kind young man." Clearly, she didn't care that I had to get home.

So I started to make the ten burritos. That might have been the worst mistake of my life. Since there was no one else in the store, I didn't explain to her that she should have called ahead. What an idiot I was. The lady then has the nerve. She has the nerve! To pull out a portfolio of coupons.

"What are you doing?!" I said in horror. My eyes went wide as I stared at the portfolio of Timmy's coupons.

"Well, how do you think I'm going to pay for all of this?" She then grabs every chips and cookies and says to ring them up. I'm sorry, ring them up please.

"All that stuff plus the ten burritos?!"

I thought, Whatever. I'm probably gonna be fired anyway. I ring up all the food, and you won't believe the total.

"Well, since you bought our entire store... Your total comes to five thousand two hundred eighty-four dollars and sixty-nine cents." I smirked knowing she couldn't pay for it, but she lifted her portfolio and tapped it twice.

The coupons fly out! Left! Right! I'm on a surprise episode of Extreme Couponing! Mrs. Spengler was probably going for the world record! After about five hundred coupons fly out, I ring up probably two hundred. The whole experience was very cathartic. The sound of ringing coupons is still stuck in my head. After a while, I thought, screw this.

"I'm sorry, but I refuse to do this." I kicked her out of the store and told her to go bother some other restaurant.

The lady went home, and didn't actually report it to my boss! The next time day, I lost hope for a decent job.

"Can I have a water cup?"

"Ya sure kid. Here ya go."

The kid makes his way over to the fountain, and without even caring, fills it with Coke. Coke!

"Hey kid, that's a water cup. If you want a soda, you have to pay for it."

The kid just glared at me and then began to fill it with Dr. Pepper while still looking at me! He's wasting the soda! It keeps overflowing!

"That's it! I'm freaking done with this!"

I dramatically stormed out the door. Every person on this planet must be some idiot. This was the worst mistake of my life.

One tip of advice. Don't work in fast food. Ever.