The Truth

Four-thousand years the cow people have ruled the universe. Conquering everything in their way, the great cow leader, General Milk, is one of greatness and is considered God in the cow kingdom. But then there was Moo. In the words of the other cows, “@$##@&^#%@&*#@$%#$%,” which roughly translates to “he sucks,” in Cowenese.


Moo was a failure, his Cowenese was horrendous, he couldn’t frolic in the fields like the other cows, and he didn’t flop over to worship the General Milk. However, Moo had planned a coup. He was to cownapp General Milk and his son Cottage Cheese and sell them to the Goat Mafia. Then Moo would be considered god! But first he had to get in contact with the dreaded Goat Mafia, and to do that he had to find… Chevre.


Moo trotted down the abandoned alleyway, sure to make his hoovesteps light and quiet. He turned the corner and saw the silver trashcan glistening in the moonlight. He knew what he had to do next. Moo carefully climbed into the trashcan shutting himself into the cramped space. “Down with the God,” Moo whispered. The ground flew out from under him and he fell at an alarming rate. Moo began to panic; what if they send me to the slaughter house?!, his cow brain screamed for his body to react.


 Suddenly Moo came to a hard, abrupt stop, sucking the air out of his lungs. When he opened his eyes, he saw the face of the one and only Chevre. He gasped in a futile attempt to speak, but was gagged. He was not surprised when everything went black.




And that kids, is how your Big Mac is made.