The Great Band War

The air was humid and dry with the sounds of battle all around. Soldiers splashed in the dirt, their families in their minds. The tuba's were blasting, their full fire of metal and steel bullets shot through the red-soaked sky.

  

Ok, I might get how you don't get what I'm talking about. Maybe in your dimension, musical instruments don't mean war weapons. (ugh!) Maybe you play music that people like hearing... but here, it's much different.

Let's start with the facts. What to start with, what to start with... oh, ok. Let's start with what type of weapon the instruments are most like. Our clarinets are like your spearmen, yeah, they lead the charge with many waves to wear down the enemy. Now, a very important instrument of war, the oboes. These are terrible to go up against. They play normal sounds and destroy the ears of enemies, which makes them venerable. Now, the flutes, these guys usually stay mostly out of sight and blow little poisonous blow darts out of their instruments. (wimps...) Alright, let's talk about the grenade launchers, or should I say, the saxophones. They take out the groups quickly for less trouble. Now to the trumpets, these dudes are pretty important. They are the classic medics, they blow out of their horns and press different valves for different types of medicine. The baritones, they are the anti- aircraft. They have good accuracy to shoot down planes and such. Don't worry, we are almost done just two more, but these two are inportant. First, there is the trombone. These people stay back and guard the flanks. Trombones are like your snipers. Last and not least, there is the mighty tuba. The few tubas we have are like your bazookas. They blast tanks and enemies in bunches. Tubas are one of the most important battle instruments around.

''Smells terrible out here. You can smell the gunpowder of the saxophones,'' mentioned lieutenant
Cody, leader of the trumpets.

''Alright boys, move in. The baritones need our help.  I've heard heavy black shells of tuba's are raining down on them. The battle planes took most of them out, but there is still Captain Klindy.'' The trumpets moved out, dodging the occasional trombone shot. The enemy had their trombones set up on the left mountain, avoiding most of the war and just sniping. Little did they know that the 4th Calvary clarinets were on the way. The plan was to attack from the left flank, taking them by surprise and keeping them at close range, just to spear them.

''141 left side,'' shouted the spotter of the tubas. The crack of the tuba roared as it spotted the lone flute group.

''Looks as if they want to surprise attack our trumpets healing the baritones.''

''Lets take 'em out!'' The ear-shuttering din of the blast as the tuba took out the group in one swift shell.''

''Nice shot commander,'' the spotter said while scoping in to find the next group of eniemies.

''We have almost taken them all out, lets keep pushing one by one, and we will win this war.'' All the spotter could do was nod in amazement as the enemy forces were being pushed back. This young commander's name was private Brian Lonewheather. He was truly inspired watching the epic battle, the clarinets taking out the first waves, rushing in without fear to spear their enemies. The flutes, blowing poisonous blow darts into the dark enemy commanders. The trombones, one shell at a time taking the enemy's defenses to town. The giant, golden, tubas roaring as they took out every single infantry, Calvary, or tank. It truly was, a great win for the...

 His ear was bleeding, he felt nauseous as he new what had hit him. It was the sound of an oboe. ''Private Brian, look out! Rocket coming 23 west!'' Its was too late, was he gone? He can't be... he was just a kid. The private roared out of the rubble standing strong, only to see the tubas get overrun and retreat, to see the last clarinet get taken out, the groups of enemy saxophones destroying every bit of remaining forces we had.

What had happened!? We had it, we had everything done and ready to celebrate. He heard a crunch behind him and what he saw before him was truly terrifying, the barrel, of an SS47 base drum staring right at him.

''Nice try,'' the private mummered.


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Should I continue with a sequel?